Month: January 2014

The Happy Atheist

One of the biggest stigmas Atheists face today (besides being devil-worshipers) is that we are cynical, loveless, empty sacks of people devoid of any true meaning in life. We are cynical and mean. We are grouchy because we have no belief in anything after life — and life sucks.  In fact, most Christians (and other religious folk) I talk to say that they feel sorry for me; that it must be hard and lonely having nothing to live for. Of course, we atheists know that this is far from the truth. Actually, most of us (myself included) found that life became much more amazing after breaking free from the shackles of religion. Once the oppressive, unrealistic expectations were taken away, I felt liberated, free and truly happy for the first time in my life. Instead of looking forward to an eternal life in paradise after death, I started living in the now and taking advantage of all the amazing things life has to offer. Time is limited and, I don’t know about you, but I would much rather live to live than live to die.

So why is it that religious people view Atheists in such a negative light (besides the obvious reasons)? If we are all so happy and carefree, how could they possibly perceive us to be angry and empty? Because of assholes like this:

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Let me explain what you are looking at here. I follow an account on Instagram that posts nothing but pictures of atheist quotes and funny atheist memes. On this particular day, however, the owner of the account posted a picture in support of gay marriage and LGBT rights, which I am not opposed to in the least. Unfortunately, there are still arrogant idiots out there that still believe they need to have a say in what goes on in a stranger’s bed and a debate ensued. The unfortunate thing about this debate is that this guy, who goes by, “theirateatheist” went on a rampage of bashing and shaming and name-calling instead of reasoning and logically arguing his point. This is merely one example of some of the fine things he had to say.

Now, I am going to give him the benefit of the doubt on two things, 1. He has already admitted via his screen name that he is irate — we were warned,  and 2. it’s practically impossible to reason with someone who still believes they should have any say in what other people do with their lives (as long as it does not negatively affect others, of course). So, I get it. I get the anger. And, frankly, he’s right — the guy he is referring to is in fact a “fucking retard”. The problem is that those on the fence about their religion and even those who aren’t, have now seen firsthand how atheists are angry, empty, hateful people. Comments like this perpetuate the stereotype.

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It’s a never-ending cycle and, the worst part is, we have done it to OURSELVES!

I propose we atheists fight the temptation and stop writing illogical, useless personal attacks on the religious and kill em’ with kindness instead. I mean, if religion has taught us anything, it has taught us that nothing recruits better than a comforting, judgement-free place full of like-minded and accepting people. If we can start showing people that atheists do in fact make better lovers, then I think we could persuade a lot more people to think twice about atheism and what life would look like without a god. We turn them away at the door before they ever even desire to peak inside when we call them names and act viciously to others. Personally, I think this world would be a much better place if there were fewer people in it that believed in a religion. The more we are able to show others how fulfilling and happy life can be as an atheist, the more people are likely to turn away from religion and, in the end, we would all end up winning.

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Saved at a Chipotle

I was working some overtime hours a month or so ago on a Sunday afternoon and went to Chipotle to go pick up some lunch for the boss and I. Chipotle (for my friends abroad) is a fast food chain similar to Subway except you tell them how you want your burrito or tacos or rice bowls. I had just completed creating the masterpiece that would be my lunch and I was at the drink station filling up my cup of iced tea when an older man approached me smiling and asked if I had just gotten out of church. I was a little taken aback by his comment because, well, why would he assume that I had gone to church?? What a weird and presumptuous thing to say to a complete stranger.

I responded with a smile and a polite, “No”. To which he said, “Oh, no! Missed church this Sunday, huh? Which church do you go to?” To which I responded, “I don’t go to church, I’m an atheist.”

First of all, I just want you all to know that in that moment, I have never been more proud of myself. I am a very non-confrontational person and I also tend to be very private as well, so I typically do not tell strangers that I am an atheist (not to mention that I’d rather not endure the negative connotations that arise with such a confession and the inevitable Christian-like judgement that follows). For the first time in my life I thought, fuck that. It is not impolite of me to tell him that I am an atheist and screw him if it offends him. It is impolite of HIM to approach me about HIS beliefs. So, I said it. I said the ‘A’ word to a complete and total stranger.

His reaction to my confession was even more offensive than asking me about it in the first place. So when I told him that I am an atheist, he said, “Oh, no you’re not. Everyone believes in god, they just do it in different ways. I go to this really great church with a really great pastor that connects with young people like you. You should check out our website and… BLAH…BLAH…BLAH…BLAH…” At this point I am trying so hard to be politely offended that I zoned out and imagined myself slapping him in the face, telling him to shut-up, mind his own business and go back to enjoying his damn burrito (like I was fixin’ to do) and he started sounding like the adults that speak in those Charlie Brown cartoons: WAH WAH WAH WAH.

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3 things about his reaction that made me want to slap him in the face:

1. “Oh, no you’re not”

REALLY?! You know what I believe? You — a guy in a Chipotle that I have never seen before, know what I — someone who I see everyday and have a very intimate relationship with, believe in more than I do?!?! Interesting… What a BOLD thing to say. [SLAP]

2. “Everyone believes in god, they just do it in different ways.”

Amazing that this guy knows EVERYONE’S beliefs — that must be exhausting. Also, really lucky for him that everyone in the world is just like him, only different. That must make things really easy for him. Is it just me or does this seem like one of the most idiotic things ever said to anyone ever? I mean, even the most religious, orthodox, born-again person will tell you that there are people that don’t believe in god (or if they do, it’s the incorrect god) and that they are going to burn in hell for it! Now I don’t even get to enjoy the fiery depths of hell anymore? I am downgraded from a satanic non-believer to a naïve “different”-believer? Bummer. [SLAP]

3. “…a great pastor that connects with young people like you.”

As if to say that I am only stating I’m an atheist because I am young and I don’t know any better. Pfff.  [SLAP]

I am absolutely appalled by the double standard that people like that can approach people like me in public places and feel perfectly justified in their recruitment and expect me to be a willing and eager listener yet, if the roles were reversed, would be so incredibly offended by my attempts to de-convert them that they probably wouldn’t even hear me out. I don’t know why we atheists have to put up with this. We shouldn’t have to. Sure, we all have the right to free speech but we also have the right to not be accosted against our will.

The worst part about all of this, though, is that this guy went home feeling mighty proud of himself. Probably even bragged about it at church the following week. I leave feeling pissed off and violated and he leaves feeling like he did his good deed for the day. Damn evangelists.

It was a pretty good burrito though…

I’m Baaaaaaaaaaccccckkkk!!!

It’s been a whole 6 months since I have written anything on this pretty little blog here and I am itching to get back into the groove again. I recently relocated from Colorado to San Diego, CA and am finally at a point in which I feel settled (not to mention MUCH warmer).

I have a whole slew of new post ideas and will definitely be adding to my “Crazy Christianity” and “Ridiculous Religion” series. It’s time to get back to writing and I look forward to coming back in to this blog community.

Until then, may you all be touched by his noodley appendage. RAmen.

 

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